The journey ...

Rock of Gibraltar - mountain in background is Africa -bring on the tears ... our children are just across the water

I have had numerous random thoughts floating around in my head lately. I want to get them down so I can remember all that my Father is teaching me (and our family).

One of the things I love the most about our adoption journey so far - are the tears. I love that Craig and I both can cry about almost anything. All it takes is the starfish story (if you don't know what I am referring to, please leave me a comment and I will post it), a verse, a testimony, a prayer, a song, talking about ALL our children, praying for ALL our children, for goodness sake - we cried during the kids movie "The Spy Next Door". I love that God is breaking our hearts for the things that break His. I love that the tears flow easily, generously and freely and that Craig is not embarrassed by it but excited about it. It makes me smile to imagine the tears of joy that will flow the day we see the faces of our children when we get our referral and especially when we FINALLY hold our children.

We can't explain it, but God has beckoned our hearts to Ethiopia, we can't explain it but we feel called to siblings, and we can't explain it but we believe they are under 4 years old. The truth is siblings under 4 are not very common - this requires FAITH on my part. Faith that God is in control - faith that HE has called us to this very place in the journey - faith that HE has called us to this journey in the first place. Honestly? my first reaction was to arrange the pieces and 'fix' it. We could adopt a single baby and not wait, we could adopt non-related children and just do the extra paperwork (for sure sign of crazy thinking), we could ... we could .... then God gently reminded me that I may make the plans, but HE guides my steps and we must commit our plans to Him in order for those plans to succeed (paraphrased from Proverbs). I believe in the very depths of my heart that God has always known are children (our 4 here, our 1 in heaven and our children in Ethiopia), and HE is preparing our children, to join their forever family. I know that God is placing His hand on our children and will bring them to us and us to them when the time is perfect. "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you." John 14:18. Sometimes I ask God what our children look like, I ask Him what their personalities are like, I ask Him to just give me a little hint WHEN I will get to see their sweet faces, I ask my Father all kinds of things about our kids .... and I can't wait for HIS answers.

Surrender

Our adoption process continues to move forward in several ways. We almost have our dossier completed - still wrestling with the bank to get the right letter from them, and reading through the draft of our homestudy. We need to get our CIS approval and get our dossier authenticated before it can be sent to Ethiopia and we then can be put on the official waiting list -- so, all that stands between us and the waiting list is about $7,000 (we then have another big installment when we accept our referral). As Craig said "Whew that's a BIG number", and it is - TO US - but not to our almighty, God. HE is bigger than that and HE is a good God. So, this is the other area where our adoption process moves forward .... our trust and surrender. The adoption journey has been a walk of faith for us, but we are seeing now that saying 'yes' to adoption was the easy part --- saying 'yes, I trust YOU GOD to take us all the way' is proving to be more refining.

I have to go back and remind myself of the character of God and the promises of God:

Philippians 1:6 "being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion"
Psalm 16:8 "HE is at my right hand, I will not be shaken"
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"
Lamentations 3:23 "His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness"
Malachi 3:10 "test me in this, says the Lord Almighty, and see if I will not throw open the flood gates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it"
2 Corinthians 12:9 "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'"
Psalm 86:10 "For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God"

God laid it on my heart today that every time I doubt that we will have the money to complete this adoption, every time I become anxious about where the money is going to come from, every time I become discouraged about how long it may take, I am telling God that I doubt HIM, that I am questioning HIM -- that I don't trust HIM. Somehow it's as though I believe I can do it better or that I need to get in front of HIM to control and handle all that this process entails. How foolish, prideful and downright sinful of me. I cannot comprehend the depths of Christ's love for me and each person of this family (both here and in Ethiopia). I trust HIM to pour down HIS blessings and I trust his sovereignty for that which I don't even know lies ahead.

Approved!

We received word yesterday that our adoption application has been approved!

application read to go!

paperwork - paperwork - paperwork

Next step .... Homestudy!!

Please pray for God's financial provision as we move forward. We know that this journey is all about trusting God each step of the way. We pray that our faith in WHO God is will be so impressed into our souls that it is lived out through our family not just in the words we speak.

Malachi 3:10
"Test me in this, says the Lord Almighty, and see if I will not throw open the flood gates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."