Surrender

Our adoption process continues to move forward in several ways. We almost have our dossier completed - still wrestling with the bank to get the right letter from them, and reading through the draft of our homestudy. We need to get our CIS approval and get our dossier authenticated before it can be sent to Ethiopia and we then can be put on the official waiting list -- so, all that stands between us and the waiting list is about $7,000 (we then have another big installment when we accept our referral). As Craig said "Whew that's a BIG number", and it is - TO US - but not to our almighty, God. HE is bigger than that and HE is a good God. So, this is the other area where our adoption process moves forward .... our trust and surrender. The adoption journey has been a walk of faith for us, but we are seeing now that saying 'yes' to adoption was the easy part --- saying 'yes, I trust YOU GOD to take us all the way' is proving to be more refining.

I have to go back and remind myself of the character of God and the promises of God:

Philippians 1:6 "being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion"
Psalm 16:8 "HE is at my right hand, I will not be shaken"
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"
Lamentations 3:23 "His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness"
Malachi 3:10 "test me in this, says the Lord Almighty, and see if I will not throw open the flood gates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it"
2 Corinthians 12:9 "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'"
Psalm 86:10 "For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God"

God laid it on my heart today that every time I doubt that we will have the money to complete this adoption, every time I become anxious about where the money is going to come from, every time I become discouraged about how long it may take, I am telling God that I doubt HIM, that I am questioning HIM -- that I don't trust HIM. Somehow it's as though I believe I can do it better or that I need to get in front of HIM to control and handle all that this process entails. How foolish, prideful and downright sinful of me. I cannot comprehend the depths of Christ's love for me and each person of this family (both here and in Ethiopia). I trust HIM to pour down HIS blessings and I trust his sovereignty for that which I don't even know lies ahead.